Cigarettes and Shampoo
by laura0506
Summary: John goes to the shops to meet someone he wasn't supposed to. Need I say more? One-shot. Please R&R!


**Hey, guys. This is my first Sherlock fanfic so please be nice in every/any way possible. *smiles awkwardly* Please review and enjoy! xD**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sherlock. Happy?**

* * *

John looked back at the list. He could see his handwriting for most of it, until the tiny scribbles at the end of the list, saying 'cigarettes'.

_Sherlock_.

Sighing, he made his way to the checkouts, to hear a clatter of tins in the aisle beside him.

He turned to the aisle, seeing millions of tins over the floor, and Sherlock brushing his front down.

"Sherlock," he hissed. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I wanted to say that I need shampoo," Sherlock said. "And I got bored by myself."

"Sherlock, the last time we came here together, you got banned for calling a shop-assistant ugly."

"She was," he said.

John groaned. "That's not how it works."

"Just stating the truth," his friend muttered.

Glaring at Sherlock, he grabbed him by the elbow. "You are going back outside when I buy all this."

"Why?"

"You know perfectly well why," he said. "You got yourself banned from this supermarket. Out."

"Fine," Sherlock grumbled, as he and John went out. He stopped as he saw the same shop-assistant that he called ugly. "John! She's still here! God, her face still looks -"

She looked horrified that Sherlock Holmes had returned. John quickened as he pushed Sherlock outside.

"John!" he yelled. "You haven't bought the shopping yet-"

The barriers wailed as John stepped through, the basket on his arm.

"This is all your fault," John said, as security came.

* * *

"Right," the manager of the supermarket said. "Explain to me again, why are you here?"

"Manager," Sherlock sighed, "why are you here?"

The bald man narrowed his eyes. "This is my office and you were caught-"

"Smokers in supermarket smoke outside," Sherlock continued. "There's signs to say so."

The manager glared at Sherlock. "Why, of course-"

"So, why do you smoke indoors?"

The manager looked taken aback. "Excuse me?"

"You have a packet of cigarettes in your pocket," Sherlock started, making John face-palm as Sherlock steam away into his conclusion. "Regularly used, but by judging by your desk, you've been smoking in here."

"My desk," the manager said, saying it more like a sentence than a question.

"Of course. There are a few sweet wrappers on your desk – actually, a lot. Some of the real chocolate is still there, so they haven't been there for long, by your size. The open ones have still wet, melted chocolate inside, meaning they weren't opened long ago too. So? So, they've been in here since this morning, and you only ate them recently, meaning you've been here for a few hours. The few hours that you've been inside, you've been smoking. How do I know? There's a bit of smoke in the air. No fire – so, one option of a few and the most likely is you have been smoking. Oh! - and there's stubbed cigarettes on your desk as well."

The manager stared at him like he was alienated or something. John sighed and Sherlock nodded. "Oh, I interrupted you. You were asking why we are here. Bit stupid, since _you_ were the one who took us here."

"A shop-assistant says you're a man that has been banned here before," the manager said, cross.

"Hmm," John cut in. "He came here to look for me."

The manager nodded, looking like he understood immediately. "Right…I see now…"

Sherlock pulled a face. "You knew that I came for John to get me shampoo?"

"Well, no. I thought that you… Wait, _shampoo_? Do you live together or something?"

"Yes, we do," Sherlock sighed, "but, technically, that's not any of your business."

"I need to know what kind of people are coming into my supermarket," the manager said, through gritted teeth. "Like homos."

"Okay- what?" John said, nearly yelping. "We're not… We're not…" He face-palmed again. _Every time_.

The consulting detective sighed. "Please, we're wasting time. We need to get shampoo, buy the shopping and go home."

* * *

"Right," John said, carrying the shopping bags in his arms. "We're both banned now, and guess whose fault it is."

"Oh, don't be too hard on yourself, John," Sherlock said, whipping out his phone, before stopping. "We didn't get my shampoo!"

John grabbed Sherlock and pushed him out of the car park. "You can borrow mine!"

* * *

**Did you like it? Please tell me in the reviews (and don't just review saying, "This is s**t.") xD thanks everyone!**


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